May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, Oh Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Psalm 19:14

Thursday, July 1, 2010


The first time I held Jonathan. Dr. Marla placed him on my chest and he was so perfect and whole and finally here. And felt heavier than I expected!

The first time I felt Jonathan move for sure. It was in the morning and Ashley was there with me. We were both so excited.

The first time Ashley kissed me. Cheesy I know but it was magical!

Seeing my mom fall from our attic to the garage floor. It was horrifying.

The first time I held my first nephew Corbin. It was the first time I experienced this overwhelming love and this deep feeling of a willingness to do anything to protect this life I would always love.

A phone call at 1am from my mom telling us my dad had a heartattack. We were in TN because Ashley's dad was very sick and KS and my family felt very far away.

Seeing the "I love you" Ashley wrote on his foot when we washed each others' feet in our wedding ceremony.

Seeing blood which was the first sign of the miscarriage I had before we had Jonathan.

Winning substate basketball in high school.

The first longer sleep after Jonathan was born. I chose sleep over food so I was definately tired!!

Watching my sister and her new husband drive off on their way to live in Maryland for a time. Even more than at their wedding, I knew things would never be the same.

Riding on a boat in the Fjords in Norway. The water was like silk, the hot chocolate was delicious, the friends were treasured. It was a moment of such peace.

An electricity black out in Honduras. One of many but this night my friend and roommate was gone for the night. I was so alone. I could hear other people outside their apartments playing and laughing but I could not understand their language. It was so dark and I felt so alone.

Watching a mouse run across the top of the back seat of the car while in the Credit Union drive through with Jonathan strapped in his car seat. It heightened my already phobic level fear of these hideous creatures. I was traumatized for nearly a year and still think of this crisis way too often.

Laying on the bathroom floor in Honduras so sick and so badly wanting to be home and have my mommy take care of me and be near not scary hospitals.

All sorts of memories stick with me. Some scary, some funny, some precious, some heartbreaking. I am thankful God gave us memories.

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