Today is my birthday. I am feeling nostalgic. I am 35 years old today. That seems really old to me. Especially when I think of how often I still make such basic mistakes. I am missing my family today. If I were home, my mom would make me a special meal and spoil our sweet boys. My nephews would make me cards and I could probably insist on a hug from them since it is my birthday. My dad would give me a hug and say a special prayer for me at the meal.
This has been a tough year. I am quite glad to leave 34 behind. With Ashley's dad dying, my dad having a heart attack, the decision to move, all the packing and so many trips, my mom falling and breaking her neck, the reality of having moved, the finality of our adoption plans coming to an end, the decision to have another baby, the realities of being pregnant, a painful and ulgy spider bite, being pregnant in the sufficating heat of TN, the decision about Jonathan and school, his starting school, the birth of sweet baby Elijah, the realities of a newborn and lack of sleep, my dear Grandma dying, my mom having to leave. Some really tough things. And one incredible gift of a precious son. And through it all God has been with me. Actually He is always there. It is when I can get past my fears and selfish wants and my desire to just wallow in misery for awhile that I can then see Him and feel His love and peace. Or maybe even more so it is when I am feeling all of those things and take the real emotions to Him and say "help!" He is there and always will be. No matter what this year of 35 brings.
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